Soy Nica. That's Short for, Soy Nicaraguense

I miss my mother's cooking. It's tasty, and sometimes it's simply unpredictable. Like when she makes gallopinto--I never know if I'm going to want second servings, or if I'm going to chew slowly and tell her I like it so I don't hurt her feelings. Ok, I take that back. If I don't like it, I communicate that to her. She has something to say in response: "Tuve que hacer el arroz rapido para que pudieran comer" [I had to make the rice in a hurry so y'all could eat], "Fueron los frijoles! Yo no tengo la culpa" [It was the beans! It's not my fault], or "Que? What you talking about" [my favorite one]. In my family, gallopinto is hit or miss.

But in my neighbor's family, gallopinto is always a hit. I admit I get a tad jealous. Especially when the dish includes tacos (or "taquitos," because we Latinos have a habit of adding "ito" and "ita" to many nouns, unnecessarily). I'm not talking about Taco-Bell or Chipotle tacos here. These are exponentially better. My front door neighbor es una pura Nica--excuse the Spanglish! It's not only her food, it's the way she expresses herself in Spanish--Nicoya-style. Also, how she says something. I absolutely love it. Sure, her language is vulgar most of the time, but mainly it's just hilarious. And, honestly, I've become desensitized to curse words in Spanish.

So, I was thinking about my dear neighbor. And I realized I'm not hearing many dichos Nicas these days. The translation for dichos would be idioms or sayings, i.e. it's raining cats and dogs (ok, who came up with that?! It's dumb. In my humble opinion). The thing is, I don't take pleasure in English idioms. Dichos Nicas, on the other hand, usually put a smile on my face. And, for that, I've decided to immortalize them here.

Note: lost in translation.

Chavalos/sipotes
¡Te conozco mosco!
¡Alabate pato que mañana te mato!
Kiubo? Kiubole? Que onda, broder?
¡Puchica!
Safate/me safo
Te voy a dar una sopa de muñeca
Cabron o hijueputa
Salvage
Es una tula
Meterse en un (gran) rollo
Los riales
Estar como gallina comprada
Hechar un pelon
Dar garrote
Meter la cuchara
No jodás, las estás cagando

God, I love my motherland.